Rumor Has It . . .

Some exciting news rumors coming out of the US Attorney’s Office in the District of Maryland:

AUSA Stuart Berman, the Greenbelt Branch Chief, is retiring after many successful years of government service.  It is expected that Stuart will be joining a small law firm in the mid-Atlantic region.

AUSA Peter Nothstein has been detailed to the Senate Judiciary Committee for six months.  Peter just recently received an annual award for excellence in prosecuting violent crime.  See below.

AUSA Mark Crooks doesn’t just prosecute alleged criminals; he chases them too.

And let’s not forget these AUSAs, following the break:

Rumor Has It

Apparently, Tiger Woods has a new nickname:  Cheetah.  And with that, we have learned from our sources (our sources being something called Radaronline.com) that Elin Nordegren has moved out of their $2.6 million Windermere home.  Cheetahs never prosper.

Rumor Has It

From the Volokh Conspiracy, we have these Top 10 Reasons President Obama Won the Nobel Peace Prize:

10. Consolation prize for losing the Olympics;

9.  Who gives a rat’s you-know-what about Afghanistan, anyway;

8.  The Nobel Prizes in Physics, Chemistry, and Biology were already taken;

7.  “We couldn’t give an ‘un-prize’ to George W. Bush, and this was the next best thing”;

6.  For extraordinary diplomacy at the Gates-Crowley “Beer Summit”;

5.  “Obama?  I thought we were giving it to Osama“;

4.  The Norwegians wanted to honor one of their own, and the committee discovered that Obama was born in Oslo, Norway, the son of a Volvo factory worker;

3.  Norway needed to stimulate its prize industry, and Obama was willing to trade in an older, less efficient prize;

2.  He was the 10th caller;

And the Number One Reason Obama Won the Nobel Peace Prize:

1.  Bill Clinton’s write-in votes for himself didn’t count.

Rumor Has It…

Attorney General Eric Holder will be visiting the US Attorney’s Office for the District of Maryland next Friday.  If past is prologue, then we can expect the Attorney General to speak to the entire USAO staff for about 20 minutes, emphasizing this Justice Department’s priorities (we are guessing that Fraud Prosecutions will be high on the list).   The AG will then commend the employees for their hard work for low pay.  Of course, in this economy, with lawyers and legal assistants losing their jobs left and right, he might just commend them for having the foresight to apply for a government job.  Thereafter, one can expect a photo session to ensue, which is what followed Alberto Gonzales’ remarks….hmmm, that reminds me, what DID I do with that picture?